I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
