3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
