'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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