pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
