'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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