haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Randomize
