My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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