just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The struggles of a small town man whore
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
