Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
