When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
