Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
