just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
How external is "for external use only"?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize