im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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