If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
