Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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