I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think I won the penis lottery.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
