if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
