just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize