i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize