you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
