Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
