"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
