I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
