they need to just BURY HIM!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
