You're completely useless in the revolution.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
