i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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