Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
