Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
