some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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