Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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