I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
