We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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