I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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