I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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