I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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