We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
