let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
