as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
