i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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