whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
