i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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