So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
