On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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