i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
