hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
