Got a toothbrush?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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