It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize