if i can run in heels then i can drive
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
