I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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