Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There r osticjed everywhere
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Why is there bacon in the couch?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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