I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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