you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize