i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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