I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
