But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
