He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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