im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
